AIDS Orphans: Overcoming Stigma, Discrimination and Denial

16-year-old girl

Tatu’s 12 year old brother

the children’s aunt (by marriage)

Jamila’s sister

Good morning, and welcome to our program. Today, we continue our series on children’s issues with a frank discussion of HIV and AIDS. HIV and AIDS affect whole communities. The most obvious victims are those who have the disease. But AIDS also hurts those who are not infected.

Children can suffer because of AIDS, even when they don’t have the disease themselves. When a parent dies prematurely, a child’s world collapses. Anxiety, depression and despair are common as a child tries to adjust to life without his or her parents. And if dealing with grief isn’t difficult enough, children are sometimes shunned by the community because they are feared. At a time when emotional support is needed most, people often turn away. It’s usually not intentional. It happens because there are many myths and misinformation about HIV/AIDS.

Today’s program is about how discrimination, social stigma, and denial affect children who are orphaned because of AIDS. Tatu and Shombay’s parents have recently died of AIDS. They are now living with their mother’s brother and his wife and children. Their Aunt Jamila is dealing with her own fears as she struggles to help her niece and nephew fit into the community where they now live.

MUSIC [drum beats, moderate and lively tempo].

SOUND EFFECTS [door opening and closing, sound of a few children playing in the background].

Hello, Aunt Jamila. I’m home.

Hello, Tatu. I’m glad you’re home. Please fetch some water — the jugs are almost empty.

Oh, I wish we had a water pipe nearby! The water jugs are heavy and I’m so tired today from working. Is Shombay home from school yet?

No, but he’ll be home soon. He sometimes stays after school to study. He works hard. You both work very hard. [Pause] I am sorry that you have to go out to work. I wish we had more money so that we could send both of you to school.

Don’t apologize, Aunt Jamila. I am just glad that Shombay and I have a place to live. After my mother died, I was afraid that both of us would have to move to the city to find work. Or move into a camp for children who are orphans.

Your uncle didn’t think it was right to send you away. You and Shombay are his sister’s children. It is not your fault that your father and mother both died of AIDS. So we have to make the best of it.

I wish everybody believed that. Some people say things to me like “your parents got AIDS because your family is without virtue.” And some people look at me with fear in their eyes. They think I have AIDS too, and that I will give it to them and their children. So I often work alone, because people stay away from me.

It makes me angry to hear that. You are already going through so much. I know it is hard enough for you when you are mourning for your parents. It’s not fair to be shunned by other people too. People have nothing to fear from you.

SOUND EFFECTS [door opening].

That must be Shombay.

Hello! I’m home from school.

How was it? Did you have a good day?

Yes. I’m learning how to do fractions. And the teacher asked me to read a story to the rest of the class. I did it well.

That is good work, Shombay. Did you tell your teacher that I’ll have the money for your school by next week?

I told her that you were working hard to make sure I could go to school. She said she can wait for the money.

That’s good, Shombay. Now go play with your cousins while I talk to Tatu.

Okay.

SOUND EFFECTS [door closing].

Aunt Jamila, I wish my life could be the way it used to be. I wish my mother and father were alive. I wish Shombay and I weren’t eating the food that you need to feed your own children. I promise, as soon as I pay for Shombay’s school, I will be able to help you with some money.

Don’t worry about that, Tatu. Somehow, we will manage.

MUSIC [drum beats].

Jamila feels she must be strong so that Tatu and Shombay will feel secure. But she has her doubts and her fears too. She is especially worried about the reaction of other people in the community because the children are living with her. She is afraid that her own children will be shunned because they are living in the same house.

In this next scene, Jamila talks with her sister Dorcas about her feelings about having to care for the children her husband has brought into their home. She consults with her about how to deal with other people’s fears.

MUSIC [fade drum beats].

Hello, Jamila. Are you well? And how are your husband and children?

We are well, thank you. They grow so fast! I can hardly believe my oldest son is thirteen. And my little one is two already.

You have a very full house since Tatu and Shombay came to live with you. Seven children! May you stay well. But you must be busy, and tired!

Yes, and another child is on the way in six months. [Big sigh] Sometimes I wonder if it is too much. I wish Tatu didn’t have to work to pay for her brother’s school. But my husband and I don’t have enough money coming in to take care of two extra.

You did a good thing when you took in the children of your husband’s sister as your own. Many people would not be so generous.

Most of the time I feel like it was the right thing to do. But other times I feel scared too. I have doubts.

What are you worried about?

I just feel afraid sometimes. And I feel so sad when I hear that Tatu and Shombay are shunned by other people. Sometimes it even happens to my own children. My oldest daughter doesn’t have as many friends as she did before Tatu and Shombay came to live with us. So I don’t always know what the right thing is.

There are so many wrong ideas about HIV and AIDS. But you know the facts. Tatu and Shombay are still healthy. They are probably going to be fine. And even if they did have HIV, you know that your children cannot become infected just by living with someone who has HIV or AIDS. What does your heart say is right?

My heart says I could not have sent the children away. So what can I do to make people understand that they shouldn’t be afraid of them?

You can share your knowledge about HIV and AIDS with people you are talking to. You know a lot about the disease. You know what is true and what is not true. Most people don’t know as much as you do. So the best thing you can do is share what you know with other people. You can help Tatu and Shombay, and even your own children, by educating the people around you about the real facts. [Pause] Do not be afraid, Jamila. You are doing the right thing.

Thank you for talking to me about this. I trust you, and I know that you are wise. I feel stronger now.

And thank you for trusting me enough to share your fears. I will also talk to other people in the village about HIV and AIDS, and do what I can to help educate them too. There is so much fear. So much despair. The only way we can work through this is by knowing the facts. Superstition and fear only creates more hurt.

MUSIC [drum beats].

Jamila is a wiser woman than she thinks she is. By taking in the children of her husband’s sister, she did not let her fear rule her life.

Jamila understands that children like Tatu and Shombay need much more than a roof over their heads and food to eat. They also need to know that they are loved and supported by their entire community. They can only receive this support if other people are informed and educated about the real risks of HIV infection, not the imaginary ones.

Let’s stick to the facts. Remember that HIV is spread by sexual contact with an infected person, by sharing needles or syringes with someone who is infected, or through transfusions of infected blood. Babies born to HIV-infected women may become infected before or during birth or through breast-feeding. You can’t become infected with HIV by touching someone, or sitting beside them, or through sharing plates or cups.

Thank you for tuning in to our show today. On our next program, we will look at some of the other issues that affect AIDS orphans, as well as a few steps that their parents can take now so that their children are looked after later.

MUSIC [fade music].