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Script 61.10

Notes to broadcasters

This program is about protecting trees from animals using manure. It is one of a series of scripts in this package involving the characters Philip (Program Host) and Dr. Compost (Peter Composter). Philip is from the city. He has a weak stomach and is a bit sceptical about farming techniques. Dr. Compost is from a rural background but has a university education in agriculture. He puts science on a pedestal, but remains true to his humble roots. The dialogue between Philip and Dr. Compost is meant to be humorous and friendly.

The call-in format used in this program is one way to provide information in your broadcasts. Invite special guests to take questions from the audience on their particular area of expertise. Listeners can prepare their questions in advance and either send them in by mail, or phone them in during the program.

Script

Characters

Philip Kwan:
A city radio host
Dr. Compost
, Ph.D. (Peter Composter): Agricultural specialist, about age 70, somewhat forgetful. He is from the farm, but has a university education. His problem is that, sometimes, he wanders off topic. Nevertheless, the information he provides is always interesting, useful and practical.
Mary
(Caller #1)
John
(Caller #2)

INTRODUCE THEME MUSIC (10 seconds) AND FADE OUT

Philip
-Good day listening friends. Due to the overwhelming response to our previous programs, we have invited Dr. Compost back, but this time with a live phone-in format…

Dr. Compost
– Yes, I really enjoyed our last program…

Philip
-How are you this good morning, Peter?

Dr. Compost
– No complaints. Although I’m having a bit of pain in my…

Philip
-(interrupting)Aha! Our first caller. She is Mary from the village of ___________ (fill in village name) Go ahead, Mary. What is your question?

Mary
-I have a problem with my goats

Dr. Compost
(interrupting)Are they not giving you enough milk?

Mary
-They eat my tree seedlings, Dr. Compost.

Dr. Compost
– Well, Mary, I will share with you an incredible solution. Use any kind of manure. And I mean any…

Philip
(interrupting)Not manure again!

Dr. Compost
– And you thought you could only use it for compost!

Mary
-So what about manure?

Dr. Compost
– Oh yes, all you do is collect fresh goat or sheep manure, for example, and make a simple mixture to apply to your trees. But the manure must be fresh and smelly. Right out of the oven, you might say…

Philip
-Yuck. Must you torment me, Peter?

Dr. Compost
– Ladies and gentlemen, this is a man who definitely spent his whole life in the city. Ha-ha-ha – (laughs)

Mary
-How do you make the mixture, Dr. Compost?

Dr. Compost
– Okay, Mary. Mix the goat droppings with water in a container or, even better, a bucket you can carry. Then let it decay for four to five days. I call the mixture ‘goat wine’(laughs).

Philip
(interrupting)Oh, I am never going to drink wine again…

Dr. Compost
– Oh, I don’t believe that, Philip! Anyway, I didn’t say to drink it. Mary, take a small broom or whisk. Dip it into the decayed manure mixture and stir. Then use the broom to splash the mixture on your trees. The smell of the manure mixture on the trees will prevent domestic animals from feeding on them.

Philip
-Manure on trees?! Awful! Couldn’t you just build a fence to keep the goats away?

Dr. Compost
– Well, my nephew uses this method because he is too lazy to put up a fence around our field. Besides, spraying manure is much more fun than building fences. It was funny – our neighbour liked our method, but changed it to fit his own needs. He told me he prefers a more concentrated mixture, more like a paste. It smells more and is more solid. My neighbour prefers smearing to spraying the manure. A future artist, perhaps?

Philip
-Manure artist, very clever. We have a question from John. He lives in ________ (fill in village).

John
-Thank-you for taking my call. Dr. Compost, you said we could use any manure.

Dr. Compost
– Yes.

John
-What about chicken manure?

Dr. Compost
– Oh, that’s fine.

John
-And pig droppings?

Dr. Compost
– Even better! Actually, pig droppings are the best! Just make sure they are fresh.

John
-Why?

Dr. Compost
– Because when the droppings are fresh, they are warm and soft. Yes, that is what is needed. But please remember this. You can use fresh manure on trees, but not on food crops. It is dangerous to your health to eat crops that have been in contact with fresh manure.

Philip
-Dear listeners, we are running out of time…

Dr. Compost
(interrupting/frustrated)Right at a very interesting moment…

Philip
-There will be more moments like these. Until next time, have a good and productive day.

Dr. Compost
– We will talk again. Good-bye…

BRING UP THEME MUSIC AND FADE OUT (5 seconds)

Acknowledgements

Adapted by Sunny Ray, Toronto, and Belinda Bruce, Vancouver, Canada, from Farm Radio Network script 14-11, Protect plants from animals using their manure, 1988.

Reviewed by Vigneswaran Theivendaram, Agricultural Specialist, Cambridge, Ontario, Canada.